No title. No release date. Just chaos.

I’m currently working on a dark comedy novel set in a quiet English town not unlike Hailsham.

The premise?

A group of would-be killers who take their plans very seriously… and fail spectacularly every single time.

One faints at the sight of blood.

Another poisons the wrong drink.

Someone plans the perfect murder… then apologises mid-attempt.

And when they all fail, they discover a support group that claims to help them succeed — but only makes things worse.

No heroes.

No masterminds.

Just miserable people, terrible decisions, and crimes that collapse at the worst possible moment.

It’s dark.

It’s absurd.

It’s very British.

And it’s meant to make you laugh far more than you’re comfortable admitting.

More soon — once I’ve figured out how badly things can go wrong next 👀🖤